Why are all the Aliens such pussies?

Just saw the Cowboys and Aliens movie. It should have been called the Cowboys, Aliens, Indians and a Dog movie. I’m not a big Cowboy movie fan. Went with the wife, going along with the program. Of course I saw all of the Clint Eastwood cowboy movies. I think just about everyone on the planet has seen those movies. I know this isn’t the most important question in the universe, but why not “Cowman?” You have “Snowman, Postman, Batman and so on.” Why do we still use the term “Cowboys”?

I think from now on I’m going to the show liquored or on acid. Things will make a lot more sense. Aliens have the technology to travel vast distances in space, but the Earth always has something they need. Is the Earth the 7-Eleven of the universe? Man I hope you live near a 7-Eleven or you won’t know what in the hell I’m talking about. Trying to make this a regional piece, trying to focus in on my market. Sorry.

The Aliens are here for the gold. Gold! Not to enslave the human race, not to steal our women or water this time. No, just the gold. No gold where they live? Is there a shortage of wedding rings on their planet? Maybe they need something to back up their money, too. It could be that the universe is in a recession and their worried about defaulting on their loans to other Aliens.

It’s good to see Harrison Ford still has an acting job. I wonder if he will draw any Star Wars fans? If you think about it Star Wars, was kind of a space western. I could see Star Wars fans seeing this movie. So this movie should get the people who like Cowboys, Star Wars and Lassie.

How come Aliens don’t wear clothes? Don’t Aliens have any fashion sense? Not even one Harley-Davidson tee shirt among them. Doesn’t it seem odd that an advanced race of Aliens can build spaceships, but can’t make any clothing? Really think about it. How does that happen?

Or, maybe, just before they land they smoke some alien wacky weed. If we’re doing it here on Earth, you know they’re doing it on the other side of the universe. Don’t kid yourself. So one of the stoned aliens says, “Hey dude, when we land, dude, let’s take off all of our clothing and run around naked.” Another stoned alien replies “Cool, dude, that should scare the shit out of them.”

Okay, let’s talk about the plot of the movie.  Some Aliens come to earth and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH and then they get their asses whooped. Why are the all of the Aliens such pussies? They always have the best weapons, biggest spaceships, but still they manage to get their butts kicked. Do they have a bunch of MBA’s running the show?

Chuck Norris should set up school for Aliens. Or better yet the Aliens could steal some of Chuck’s DNA and combine it with their DNA. That would have made a better movie. The Aliens come to earth and try to take some DNA from Chuck. Whoop, there it is more Aliens getting their asses kicked.

Thanks for reading my blog. I hope you weren’t in the process of solving the world’s problem and started reading this. Again thank you very much for reading my blog post. Please check out my You Tube channel coolcycledude and follow me on twitter @coolcycledude. Enjoy your life and be safe.

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