Tag Archives: Vmax

Kids Killing Kids WTF?

Calling me old fashioned, but I don’t like watching kids kill each other. At least I thought I didn’t! I just saw the Hunger Games at the show with the wife and spent fifteen dollars on tickets. Plus I wasted a couple of hours of my life to do so. Just to set the record straight I don’t like watching kids killing each other. Everyone got the idea? We’re okay? Now that I think about it, I don’t like watching anyone killing anyone. It is so easy to define someone or something as an enemy. I may have turned into big pussy in my old age. I’m a kinder and gentler person now.  So I would like to tell myself. Hold on for a minute.

I’m back! I just went down stairs to hold my AK-47 for minute, put the clip in, pulled bolt carrier lever to charge the weapon. I’m all good now. I’ve really got to kill something now. Don’t worry your little heads, the wife won’t let me have any ammo. That’s our deal, I can have all the guns I want just no ammo. I’m half way there? I love the smell of gun lubricant at 9:00 pm.

Back on track, I can hear what you’re thinking, that’s right, I can read minds. “Coolcycledude, it’s only a movie with fictional characters in the land of make believe.”  I like to talk about myself in the third party, sorry.”Coolcycledude, you don’t even own a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, nor did you go to film school so shut the ‘F’ up you loser!” That’s a fact I don’t own a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, nor did I go to film school. But I did race a Harley-Davidson motorcycle once and I was the winner! Read “That Vmax is going to get me into trouble one day”

Thank God for those “Old White Guys” that provided me with my First Amendment Rights.  So I shall continue to write. Sorry about bringing God into this, but I want it to look like I was writing with authority. That was just a little joke, please don’t blow up our house. I know a lot of you people with strong beliefs also have the need to be right too.  Sorry about the “you people” thing.

Almost forgot what this blog was about, didn’t you?  Don’t lie! This movie is kind of a rip-off of the Lord of Flies. You know that book you had to read in high school. You know I shouldn’t say that anymore. I don’t know if they make you read in high school anymore. I know for a fact that my niece got extra credit in English class for baking a pie and bringing it in. They say that timing is everything. If I was born some 30 odd years later I could have graduated high school by baking pies. Life is so unfair!

Anyhow, in the Lord of Files a bunch of kids get shipwrecked on some island and then it’s boys will be boys. They create their own society without the “Old White Guys” input and all hell breaks loose. The lizard part of the brain takes over.  When that happens, there are no boundaries to what one person will do to another.  At least in Lord of Files it was just boys killing boys.  Not that I’m condoning that but seemed okay at the time. But now 35 years into the future it doesn’t sit so well with me anymore.

But in this movie, girls are killing girls, boys are killing boys, boys are killing girls. Feminists should be damn happy now because girls were killing boys. Yeah! The world is complete now, I guess. Last but not least, we’ve have modified dogs killing kids.  During all of this killing, people are watching it on the big screen. Some type of F’d up reality show.

This was one of those go-to-washroom-a-lot movies for me. You know, you go into the washroom, wave your hand in front of the automatic paper towel dispenser and out comes a paper towel.  You do it a few times and think to yourself, “This is some cool shit here! I’ve got to have one of these things, damn!”  Then you run your hands under the air dryer and wonder, “Who was the butt-hole who designed this thing”?  You might like to check out the caulk job around the sinks. You may also look at the tile work to see if it’s straight.  Oh, don’t worry, when I’m done I’ve got a paper towel in my hand when I pull open the door to leave the washroom.  I’ve got to, the wife and I share large popcorn during the movie.

This movie is really about the strong crushing the spirit of the weak.  Taking the weak’s children and destroying them on the big screen. What better way to destroy their hope for the future by killing their children. I’m going to rate this movie as “Blows Big Time.” Save your money and give it to a group who helps kids that have been exposed to violence.

Thanks for reading my blog. It means nothing. Just me running my mouth.  Normally I write about motorcycles, but I think I’m going to continue this movie review stuff.  Please follow me on Twitter @coolcycledude and coolcycledude channel on You Tube.

That Vmax is going to get me into trouble one day

I was riding north on a certain road in the state of ILL on my Vmax when some meatball on Harley Davidson blows by me in my lane. We meet up at the next light, he looks over at me and with cigar hanging out of his mouth and says “Japanese piece of shit.”  I thought to myself “Okay MOFO, game on, bitch.”

I turned my head toward him to get a better look at my new best buddy. I could see without doubt he was a product of damaged DNA. Probably a neutrino escaping from the sun collided with the DNA sequence used to make brain cells. Leaving him a few billon short. Looked in my mirrors to see his two chimp friends behind us on their HD’s. This is going to be fun I thought.

He had just about every HD promotional product on his body. He had the boots, shirt, vest, gloves and his scarf helmet. Included in his ensemble was a couple HD tattoos on his arm. I don’t know about you but if I wore all that stuff I would want to be paid for it. I know people buy this stuff to feel a sense of belonging. To me buying all this crap just helps the Chinese economy.

The light changes to green and I crack the throttle wide open. Two things are now in my sight, the tachometer needle flying across tachometer and the stupid look disappearing from his face in my mirror. After that it was just shift light flashes and gear changes. I slowed down so we could meet at the next light.

When he got to light, I looked over at him and told him “nice motorcycle.”  No response for him, kind of hurt my feelings. I tried to communicate with him again “nice paint job” I told him. He didn’t even look at me. His cigar was now missing from his mouth.He just didn’t look the same without it either. I hope he didn’t swallow it. Gave him one more glance to see if the communication path was open. No, not much to say. He was watching the traffic light like his life depended on it.

The light turned green, off he went laying rubber on the pavement. I started counting, one thousand, two thousand and three thousand. I think his HD buddies were confused with my delay. I turned the throttle and held on.  I think my Vmax realized it was behind and got angry. Like some thoroughbred race horses do when they are behind. I didn’t look at the tachometer this time just the shift light. I passed him like he was standing still.

The rush of all of that speed made me forgo the thought of damage to myself or anyone else. I’m pretty sure I would have continued to increase my velocity if it wasn’t for the speedometer. 137 mph, “oh shit, OH SHIT.” 137 mph in 45 mph speed zone! My non-damaged, but slow, brain quickly did the math. 137 divided 45 equals good-bye drivers license for a long long time. Which means the wife would be driving me around for the next 10 years. I know she would be looking forward to that.

Thank you very much for reading my blog post. Please checkout my You Tube channel coolcycledude and follow me on twitter @coolcycledude. Enjoy your life and be safe.

No Tachometer? What The "Fire Truck?"

How can someone ride a motorcycle without tachometer? Why on earth would you want own a motorcycle without a tachometer? Is there something wrong with you? Don’t ask yourself that question, ask someone else, your opinion would be biased. Are you really cheap?  You can ask yourself that one, no second opinion is needed. Are you future dinosaur food?  Only time will tell on that one. Without a tachometer you might as well be riding a riding lawnmower or minbike. You and your John Deere cruising the highway. Do you look good in green?

The tachometer is the most important instrument on your motorcycle. All of that other stuff is to meet some governmental regulation. Just “the man” taking control of your life. That speedometer thing is way overrated. Periodically I’ve notice that the value on the speedometer thing changes from time to time. But otherwise the information from it is completely useless. They might as well tear that thing out and put a clock in its place.

Don’t listen to me, look at the current motorcycle manufacturing trends. The tachometer is getting bigger and that speedometer thing is getting smaller. Very very tiny, so so small. The tachometer on my Vmax is so big you can see it from outer space. The tachometer on the Vmax is so big it works like a windscreen. If I park my Vmax a certain way, the tachometer will cause an eclipse in the state Illinois. I’m pretty sure you got the point now, right?

Let’s say you have motorcycle without a tachometer, there still hope for you, you can be saved. An upgrade kit can be purchased giving you opportunity to fit in with the real motorcycle community. You don’t want people to say “Are you sure that person doesn’t have a tachometer on their motorcycle?” Yes I’m sure! Well I guess the world needs ditch diggers too!

If you plan on getting and riding a motorcycle without a tachometer to shift the gears correctly, you should get one of those Electronic Transmission motorcycles, slacker. Also, you might want to get in line to order power steering for your next motorcycle.

I believe it’s a good idea to give credit where credit is due. Using the words “fire truck” to replace another word was not my idea. I wish it was, but it’s not, got the idea from Smosh.com. They have the capability to sing and dance, check it out.

Wear your helmet, I don’t want you to get hurt. I need as many people as possible to read my blogs. As far as I can tell dead people don’t read blogs. Be safe!

1,000 Miles on the Vmax

Well, I have just over 1,000 miles on my Yamaha 2010 Vmax. During the first 600 miles I treated it like a baby staying under 4,000 RPMs on all of my rides. The break-in period for a motorcycle engine is very important for the longevity of that engine. So even though it was tempting to light up the rear tire and see how fast I could leave a stop light, I didn’t. Motorcycles tires are not cheap to replace. Replacing the tires on my Honda VTX 1800 cost me about $550. So watching someone trying to burn up their tires is fascinating to me. I guess they see smoke flying off the tires, I see money.

Been thinking about buy a Yamaha Vmax for about 10 years. But the older generations Vmaxs had several problems that bothered me. First off, no fuel injection, it had carburetors just like on your lawnmower or gas-powered weed whacker. Why is Yamaha manufacturing a performance motorcycle without fuel injection? Brakes, I’m all about ABS brakes. They will save your life in the event you need to brake hard. Some people will tell you that it’s not worth the money to get them. Well, they’re wrong! Checkout motorcycle accident data. It will tell you something different. The frame would flex when you went into a turn giving you that carnival ride experience. You know the experience, the sliding from side to side of a rollercoaster on the track. Didn’t want any of that noise, that’s for sure. This motorcycle was completely redesigned, no parts from the older version, not a one. This was a big commitment from a manufacturer to completely redesign a motorcycle. A lot of motorcycle manufacturers don’t put this kind of effort into one of their products like Yamaha did. So I was very much looking forward to the outcome.

When I first saw the new Yamaha Vmax at the motorcycle show in Chicago in 2009, I thought to my self , “Damn, that thing is big.” Pretty weird because I’ve been riding Goldwings for last 24 years. Sat on the motorcycle at the show and thought, “Man is this thing going fit in our garage? Might have to punch out the back of the garage to get it to fit.” I was about ready to call my wife and have her measure the garage, to make sure it would fit. Somehow this motorcycle distorted spatial relations for me.

Didn’t buy one during its first year of production want to make sure all of the problems are worked out first. Also, I already have a black motorcycle and hoped they would come out with different color. They did come out with a different color, red. Okay red it is, I guess, no other choices anyhow. The last hurdle was the insurance rate. Well a big surprise here, it was cheaper than the insurance on my Goldwing. Okay time to write the check, 20,400 dollars with extended warranty and out the door. Ouch! The first condo I lived in cost me 34,000 dollars. But you can’t ride a condo or tune a fish.

I can’t think of anything negative to say about the motorcycle. The engine gets hot, but I saw that coming. It has a big engine that’s generating a lot of power, so it’s going to get hot. Handling of the motorcycle surpassed all of my expectations. Cornering this motorcycle is a dream. It sticks to line without floating around so you’re not correcting it during a turn. It stops on a dime and it has some big brakes. The engine is very manageable at low RPMs. It requires premium fuel. Saw that coming too. Goes through fuel like water goes through a screen door on a submarine. Didn’t see that coming.

Okay, there is only one problem and it’s me. That’s right it’s me. My behavior changes when I’m riding my Vmax. Going fast seems to be the overriding theme. Fear of damaging my body fades away with every gear change. I think it was best said by Hunter S. Thompson “Faster, Faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.”

Wear your helmet!