All posts by Bill Whitman

Rode a Battery Powered Motorcycle and Chicks Dig Me Now!

Before you read any farther, I think I need to clear up the title of this blog a little bit first. This needs to be made perfectly clear. Chicks have always dug coolcycledude. Yep, I’m a chick magnet. I guess the truth be told I’m a super conductor chick magnet.  The title of this blog was just a cheap ploy to get you to read it, sorry. You have no idea how low I will stoop to get you to read my blogs.

This last summer I got the opportunity to ride an electric motorcycle. Electric motorcycle, sounds a little bit weird doesn’t it.  Now that I think about it, it was weird.  That’s right a motorcycle that didn’t use any gasoline for fuel. No internal combustion engine, clutch or gearbox. A motorcycle from the future! This would be one of motorcycles that you would say “where in hell do you put the fuel in. Then someone tells you “it doesn’t use gasoline, it uses a battery for fuel.”

Not the plastic ones you rode as kid. With the plastic tires or wheels. I guess you wouldn’t call them tires so I guess wheels are a better term. You know what I’m talking about, remember how cool you looked on it. You were cruising up and down the sidewalk in front of your parent’s house at about 2 to 3 MPH. It seemed pretty dam fast at time. That baby was powered by one of those flashlight lantern batteries with those little springy things at the top. You had 6 Volts of massive power to cruise up and down the block.

I must say it was odd to ride a motorcycle without the pulse of an internal combustion engine between my legs. Instead there was the wine of an electric motor. During the ride I found myself trying to shift gears with my foot out of force of habit. Even though there wasn’t any shift lever or clutch lever. I can remember one time during the ride actually looking down thinking maybe the gear lever had fallen off like on my old Harley sportster. Yep, I owned a Harley sportster during the AMF years and there was no Loctite. Can you see this picture?

That’s right coolcycledude is all about saving the planet. The coolcycledude is a tree huger! Sorry third party speak, trying to build a brand. I don’t want to get rid of all the icebergs so polar bears will have a place to do polar bear stuff. What in the hell are polar bears during on icebergs anyway. But with all that said I do have problems with electric a vehicles that need to recharge their batteries. I think one of the things people forget is that you are just pushing the carbon monoxide production down the chain to a power plant. Imagine if we all decided to get electric cars. One day we wake up just like the Borg and decide to drive electric cars, motorcycles, boats and so forth. The “Borg” was a Star Trek reference sorry about that. Think about the amount of energy that would then be required from our power generating facilities.

I can hear what you are thinking right now “coolcycledude you dummy, we could use solar cells and wind turbines to power our electric vehicles.” Well only thing I have a say is good luck with that and put down the wacky weed. Solar and wind turbines produce about 2% of our energy needs.

I was somewhat surprised on the ability of this electric motorcycle to accelerate. I was expecting a lot slower response than I actually got. But the reality is this motorcycle had some get up and go and it. Riding it felt like I was on a motocross bike. It had a very light feeling to the steering. This motorcycle would probably be a great intro motorcycle to someone just getting started. There are no gears to shift, clutch to operate just turn the throttle and work brakes. It’s just that simple to operate.

I’m not going to go into the technical stuff on this motorcycle I would recommend that you go to  Zero’s website (Link, go ahead click) for that information. I would recommend that you at least schedule a test ride on this motorcycle because there’s a possibility that it may fit your driving style. Please check out my videos on YouTube about riding this motorcycle. The first one being a walk around (Link, go ahead click) then my riding experience part one (Link, go ahead click) and part two (Link, go ahead click).

I would like to thank you very much for taking your time to read my little blog. And if you have a chance please sign up so you can receive e-mail updates when I write another blog. Also don’t forget to follow me on twitter @coolcycledude. Thanks again for reading my little blog.

Kids Killing Kids WTF?

Calling me old fashioned, but I don’t like watching kids kill each other. At least I thought I didn’t! I just saw the Hunger Games at the show with the wife and spent fifteen dollars on tickets. Plus I wasted a couple of hours of my life to do so. Just to set the record straight I don’t like watching kids killing each other. Everyone got the idea? We’re okay? Now that I think about it, I don’t like watching anyone killing anyone. It is so easy to define someone or something as an enemy. I may have turned into big pussy in my old age. I’m a kinder and gentler person now.  So I would like to tell myself. Hold on for a minute.

I’m back! I just went down stairs to hold my AK-47 for minute, put the clip in, pulled bolt carrier lever to charge the weapon. I’m all good now. I’ve really got to kill something now. Don’t worry your little heads, the wife won’t let me have any ammo. That’s our deal, I can have all the guns I want just no ammo. I’m half way there? I love the smell of gun lubricant at 9:00 pm.

Back on track, I can hear what you’re thinking, that’s right, I can read minds. “Coolcycledude, it’s only a movie with fictional characters in the land of make believe.”  I like to talk about myself in the third party, sorry.”Coolcycledude, you don’t even own a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, nor did you go to film school so shut the ‘F’ up you loser!” That’s a fact I don’t own a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, nor did I go to film school. But I did race a Harley-Davidson motorcycle once and I was the winner! Read “That Vmax is going to get me into trouble one day”

Thank God for those “Old White Guys” that provided me with my First Amendment Rights.  So I shall continue to write. Sorry about bringing God into this, but I want it to look like I was writing with authority. That was just a little joke, please don’t blow up our house. I know a lot of you people with strong beliefs also have the need to be right too.  Sorry about the “you people” thing.

Almost forgot what this blog was about, didn’t you?  Don’t lie! This movie is kind of a rip-off of the Lord of Flies. You know that book you had to read in high school. You know I shouldn’t say that anymore. I don’t know if they make you read in high school anymore. I know for a fact that my niece got extra credit in English class for baking a pie and bringing it in. They say that timing is everything. If I was born some 30 odd years later I could have graduated high school by baking pies. Life is so unfair!

Anyhow, in the Lord of Files a bunch of kids get shipwrecked on some island and then it’s boys will be boys. They create their own society without the “Old White Guys” input and all hell breaks loose. The lizard part of the brain takes over.  When that happens, there are no boundaries to what one person will do to another.  At least in Lord of Files it was just boys killing boys.  Not that I’m condoning that but seemed okay at the time. But now 35 years into the future it doesn’t sit so well with me anymore.

But in this movie, girls are killing girls, boys are killing boys, boys are killing girls. Feminists should be damn happy now because girls were killing boys. Yeah! The world is complete now, I guess. Last but not least, we’ve have modified dogs killing kids.  During all of this killing, people are watching it on the big screen. Some type of F’d up reality show.

This was one of those go-to-washroom-a-lot movies for me. You know, you go into the washroom, wave your hand in front of the automatic paper towel dispenser and out comes a paper towel.  You do it a few times and think to yourself, “This is some cool shit here! I’ve got to have one of these things, damn!”  Then you run your hands under the air dryer and wonder, “Who was the butt-hole who designed this thing”?  You might like to check out the caulk job around the sinks. You may also look at the tile work to see if it’s straight.  Oh, don’t worry, when I’m done I’ve got a paper towel in my hand when I pull open the door to leave the washroom.  I’ve got to, the wife and I share large popcorn during the movie.

This movie is really about the strong crushing the spirit of the weak.  Taking the weak’s children and destroying them on the big screen. What better way to destroy their hope for the future by killing their children. I’m going to rate this movie as “Blows Big Time.” Save your money and give it to a group who helps kids that have been exposed to violence.

Thanks for reading my blog. It means nothing. Just me running my mouth.  Normally I write about motorcycles, but I think I’m going to continue this movie review stuff.  Please follow me on Twitter @coolcycledude and coolcycledude channel on You Tube.

Where in the Hell is my long underwear?

Just found this video on You Tube and I had to write about. Okay, I know that ride riding a motorcycle is a lot of fun. I got that, I really do! But this is some crazy shit. Why don’t they just walk into a walk-in freezer and stand around for a half hour or so. On occasion I’ve got to work in a walk-in freezer to replace evaporator fan motors and such. The air temperature in walk-in freezers is at about -10 °F. It is cold in the walk-in freezer, no cold is the wrong word, its freezing!

I couldn’t imagine riding a motorcycle in temperatures that cold. I can spend about 15 to 20 minutes maximum in the walk-in freezer before I need to get out. It will become painfully cold very fast at those temperatures. Check this out  Move the mouse on “Check this out” a click.

Another trip around the sun.

I rode my Honda VTX 1800 for the last time today for this season. Put the fuel stabilizer in the tank and a fill-up with petrol.  You’re probably thinking to yourself “what the hell is petrol?” It’s what the chaps across the pond call fuel. I’m trying to expand my readership in the UK. Back on track! Off I went for a nice three-hour ride to work the fuel stabilizer through the system. Yep, she’s done for the season. That’s right “She.” She doesn’t have a name yet. I’m still thinking about that. Goodbye my fake Harley until next summer. I sometimes refer to Honda VTX 1800 as my fake Harley. The final wash, the removal of the battery, roll her in the corner and putting on the cover is all that’s left to do.

The snow, ice and cold weather are approaching fast and will soon over take the landscape here in the state of ILL (Illinois). No place for a motorcycle or for me for that matter. The snow is painful and a telling reminder that another year has gone by for me and the motorcycle. Another trip around the sun almost completed for both of us. Another segment of my timeline in this universe is gone. Everything has beginning and end time line in case you don’t understand what I’m talking about. If you still don’t get the idea, email me and I will send you picture.

I put about 4,000 miles on the digital odometer this season. Digital odometer! Man things have changed since my first motorcycle. This gives me a total of around 12,000 miles so far on that fancy digital odometer. Not a lot of miles for a six-year old motorcycle, but the miles were spent doing something that I like to do. Like is probably the wrong word. It just doesn’t define how I feel about ride a motorcycle. I’m worried a little bit that the word addiction might be a better choice. High on motorcycles. Is that possible?

This year was different from the last five years. I worked two full-time jobs during that time and I was numb or at some level of zombie most of the time. Okay, quick break from the main idea here. I used the word “zombie” to catch the younger crowd. They seem to be spending a lot time watching zombie programs. I don’t get this zombie craze, but I’m trying to create a connection with people in all age groups. Sorry for the delay, back on track, again. I finally retired from one of them. That was the plan! I just have a regular job where I go in and come home without any worries of what goes on when I leave. Working two jobs has interfered with my ability to absorb and interact with the life experiences around me. Did I mention the zombie bit?

Riding the VTX 1800 and the other motorcycles that I own was almost like a brand new experience for me this summer. Almost like I just picked them up from the dealer and was on the very first ride home. A sort of a rebirth for me.  I’ve got to stop here for a second, hang on, trying to picture in my mind this whole rebirth thing. Hmm, not a pretty picture. Okay, let’ try this. A revitalization of my passion for riding motorcycles.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my blog. One of two things is going to happen now. You’ll unfollow me as fast as you can or maybe you’ll start your very own blog. A word of caution if you unfollow me I will find you! Oh, I’m off my meds and the voices in my head are getting louder.  Just want to make that clear before you doing anything rash. Please check out my YouTube channel coolcycledude Also you can follow me on twitter @coolcycledude

Why are all the Aliens such pussies?

Just saw the Cowboys and Aliens movie. It should have been called the Cowboys, Aliens, Indians and a Dog movie. I’m not a big Cowboy movie fan. Went with the wife, going along with the program. Of course I saw all of the Clint Eastwood cowboy movies. I think just about everyone on the planet has seen those movies. I know this isn’t the most important question in the universe, but why not “Cowman?” You have “Snowman, Postman, Batman and so on.” Why do we still use the term “Cowboys”?

I think from now on I’m going to the show liquored or on acid. Things will make a lot more sense. Aliens have the technology to travel vast distances in space, but the Earth always has something they need. Is the Earth the 7-Eleven of the universe? Man I hope you live near a 7-Eleven or you won’t know what in the hell I’m talking about. Trying to make this a regional piece, trying to focus in on my market. Sorry.

The Aliens are here for the gold. Gold! Not to enslave the human race, not to steal our women or water this time. No, just the gold. No gold where they live? Is there a shortage of wedding rings on their planet? Maybe they need something to back up their money, too. It could be that the universe is in a recession and their worried about defaulting on their loans to other Aliens.

It’s good to see Harrison Ford still has an acting job. I wonder if he will draw any Star Wars fans? If you think about it Star Wars, was kind of a space western. I could see Star Wars fans seeing this movie. So this movie should get the people who like Cowboys, Star Wars and Lassie.

How come Aliens don’t wear clothes? Don’t Aliens have any fashion sense? Not even one Harley-Davidson tee shirt among them. Doesn’t it seem odd that an advanced race of Aliens can build spaceships, but can’t make any clothing? Really think about it. How does that happen?

Or, maybe, just before they land they smoke some alien wacky weed. If we’re doing it here on Earth, you know they’re doing it on the other side of the universe. Don’t kid yourself. So one of the stoned aliens says, “Hey dude, when we land, dude, let’s take off all of our clothing and run around naked.” Another stoned alien replies “Cool, dude, that should scare the shit out of them.”

Okay, let’s talk about the plot of the movie.  Some Aliens come to earth and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH and then they get their asses whooped. Why are the all of the Aliens such pussies? They always have the best weapons, biggest spaceships, but still they manage to get their butts kicked. Do they have a bunch of MBA’s running the show?

Chuck Norris should set up school for Aliens. Or better yet the Aliens could steal some of Chuck’s DNA and combine it with their DNA. That would have made a better movie. The Aliens come to earth and try to take some DNA from Chuck. Whoop, there it is more Aliens getting their asses kicked.

Thanks for reading my blog. I hope you weren’t in the process of solving the world’s problem and started reading this. Again thank you very much for reading my blog post. Please check out my You Tube channel coolcycledude and follow me on twitter @coolcycledude. Enjoy your life and be safe.

That Vmax is going to get me into trouble one day

I was riding north on a certain road in the state of ILL on my Vmax when some meatball on Harley Davidson blows by me in my lane. We meet up at the next light, he looks over at me and with cigar hanging out of his mouth and says “Japanese piece of shit.”  I thought to myself “Okay MOFO, game on, bitch.”

I turned my head toward him to get a better look at my new best buddy. I could see without doubt he was a product of damaged DNA. Probably a neutrino escaping from the sun collided with the DNA sequence used to make brain cells. Leaving him a few billon short. Looked in my mirrors to see his two chimp friends behind us on their HD’s. This is going to be fun I thought.

He had just about every HD promotional product on his body. He had the boots, shirt, vest, gloves and his scarf helmet. Included in his ensemble was a couple HD tattoos on his arm. I don’t know about you but if I wore all that stuff I would want to be paid for it. I know people buy this stuff to feel a sense of belonging. To me buying all this crap just helps the Chinese economy.

The light changes to green and I crack the throttle wide open. Two things are now in my sight, the tachometer needle flying across tachometer and the stupid look disappearing from his face in my mirror. After that it was just shift light flashes and gear changes. I slowed down so we could meet at the next light.

When he got to light, I looked over at him and told him “nice motorcycle.”  No response for him, kind of hurt my feelings. I tried to communicate with him again “nice paint job” I told him. He didn’t even look at me. His cigar was now missing from his mouth.He just didn’t look the same without it either. I hope he didn’t swallow it. Gave him one more glance to see if the communication path was open. No, not much to say. He was watching the traffic light like his life depended on it.

The light turned green, off he went laying rubber on the pavement. I started counting, one thousand, two thousand and three thousand. I think his HD buddies were confused with my delay. I turned the throttle and held on.  I think my Vmax realized it was behind and got angry. Like some thoroughbred race horses do when they are behind. I didn’t look at the tachometer this time just the shift light. I passed him like he was standing still.

The rush of all of that speed made me forgo the thought of damage to myself or anyone else. I’m pretty sure I would have continued to increase my velocity if it wasn’t for the speedometer. 137 mph, “oh shit, OH SHIT.” 137 mph in 45 mph speed zone! My non-damaged, but slow, brain quickly did the math. 137 divided 45 equals good-bye drivers license for a long long time. Which means the wife would be driving me around for the next 10 years. I know she would be looking forward to that.

Thank you very much for reading my blog post. Please checkout my You Tube channel coolcycledude and follow me on twitter @coolcycledude. Enjoy your life and be safe.

Running with the pack

Got a chance to take a nice long ride on my Honda VTX 1800 last weekend.  Spent about 7.5 hours traveling across the state of Illinois. Or the state of ILL as I like to call it. Stopped a few times to fill up the fuel tank and leave some fluids.  Didn’t stop to eat anything, kept riding. I rode with some members from the Jersey Pine Cruisers.  They’re located in Des Plaines Illinois. A lot of Goldwing riders, but anyone with a motorcycle is allowed to join in on the rides. Certainly they are a cast of characters, no doubt about that.

My VTX is about 6 years old now, almost one dog year.  Honda stopped making the 1800cc version of the VTX in  2008. Although, they’re still making the 1300 cc version of the VTX. This motorcycle was Honda’s first salvo at trying to increase their market share in the cruiser market. This is a very completive sector of the overall motorcycles market. In reality this was a pretty lofty goal to try to gain market share in this sector.

Honda was aiming to take away from Harley Davidson. Like I said, a pretty lofty goal to say the least. Harley Davidson really has lock on this market. They should. They have created a culture that has crossed race, gender, age and just about every other barrier known to the human race.  Maybe, Harley Davidson should be given a grant from the Federal Government to solve world peace. Just an idea, couldn’t hurt.

Back on track, my ride on my VTX 1800. This motorcycle seems to fit me like glove. Not like the OJ glove either. It’s like the motorcycle and I are like Lego blocks. I just snap in and go. Lego blocks are those things you played with as a kid and step on as an adult. Looking down at your foot right now and thinking “Shit, I haven’t stepped on one of those damn things in a long time.”

There was a time when my VTX 1800 was more of a torture device then a motorcycle. Couldn’t ride it to long before I had a lot pain, everywhere. I rode it for about 2 years before I decided to change the seat. I just had to get rid of the stock seat. Replaced it with a Mustang seat.  The funny part about this is how quickly the new seat changed my riding experience. They first thing that went through my mind was, “Why in the hell did wait so long to do this?” Old dog, new tricks would be the correct answer.

It was perfect day to ride a motorcycle. Not hot or windy, just a beautiful day. One day that I will remember for a very long time. Pushing my motorcycle through the turns. Cracking the throttle full open to hear the engine roar. Watching the gas tank shake as the RPMs increase. Seeing the digital speedometer display 90 MPH and thinking to myself “Man, this is just too fun!”

Only downside was I couldn’t stop to take any pictures or videos. Had the digital camera and the Flip video camera with me. These guys don’t like to stop for anything but fuel. Saw a lot of things that I would have liked to take pictures or video of. Oh well, one day I will make the trip by myself. But still I’ve got the mental pictures and videos in my brain. Plenty of space in there. Just worried about the refresh rate.

Thank you very much for reading my blog post. Please checkout my You Tube channel coolcycledude and follow me on twitter @coolcycledude. Enjoy your life and be safe.

The New Transformers Movie

A lot of stuff gets blown-up-real-good. It looks like most of downtown Chicago got destroyed. I’m not completely sure, but the building I work in may have fallen victim to the giant robots. Good thing I wasn’t in it during the attack. This movie theater was jammed with people. I guess people really like to watching giant robots destroying things. Don’t get it, but going along with the program. I know my wife @heidithorne sure does. I should probably analyze my wife’s thirst for giant robots destroying things one day. Why can’t robots come to earth and cure cancer or create world peace. Why not giant Gandhi robots? Probably not too many people would want to see 2.5 hours of  giant Gandhi robots. Of course you never know. There could be a giant evil Gandhi robot if that’s possible.

This may sound odd, but do these giant robots need to go to the bathroom. I know I sure did after sitting there for 2.5 hours. I was about ready to pee in my pants. Which is not uncommon for me. So if I have to go, they must too. Maybe giant robot bladders can hold a lot more then ours. I can see the comments already, “Of course they can, they have bigger bladders, they’re giant robots. You sure are dumb coolcycledude, don’t you know anything about giant robot physiology. “Well I mean, they might have bigger bladders even for giant robots. Think how funny this would be. Picture this in your mind.  The giant robot just finishes destroying a building. Building parts scattered all over the place. Just like a giant robot would do. The giant robot walks over to another building, turns his robot head right then left to make sure no one looking and then takes leek on the other building. I know what you’re thinking, coolcycledude, you should be writing movie scripts for a living. I couldn’t agree more with you.

The big question I have about the giants robots is why do they need humans as slaves? To rebuild the their planet that they blew up. Oh, okay, wow, it all make sense to me now. I don’t want money back now, go ahead and keep it. Couldn’t they just build robot slaves? Imagine the logistics of managing 3 billion human slaves. Think of all of the code violations that would occur when they start rebuilding. Who’s going to feed all of these people? Will they have health care? Hopefully the giant robots don’t use Blue Cross Blue Shield as their insurance provider. How do you move all these people around ? After a few days of managing 3 billion human beings.They would get their giant robot asses in their robot spaceships and get as far away from earth as they can. Might even erase earth from their space maps.

Another question I have, is where did the robots learn to speak English. Did they use a Rosetta-Stone language course. Is English a required language in their education system? Or, maybe as they were all driving to earth they were swapping the Rosetta-Stone CDs or DVDs in and out of their robot computers.What would happen if they would have made mistake and landed in Japan. Maybe they have the whole series of Rosetta-Stone language courses on the robot spaceships. One other quick question. Do you think Rosetta-Stone will send me a free language course after mentioning then 4 times in this blog? Oh, if you know someone who works for Rosetta-Stone, please tell them about this blog. Sorry, but I like free stuff.

Wasn’t there motorcycles that turned into robots in the last Transformer movie? That would have been so cool to see a robot-motorcycle or a motorcycle-robot. Talk about product placement. It would have surely helped the motorcycle industry. That was one of the reasons I went to see the movie. Maybe, I have my giant robot movies mixed up. You know, the giant robots in these movies are all starting to look alike to me. I know that sounds racists, I just call them as I see them.

Thank you for reading my blog. You know, you could have used your time to wait in line to buy tickets to see a giant robot movie. Please check out my You Tube channel, coolcycledude. Ride your motorcycle and enjoy your life.

Turn the Throttle and Take Your Chances

Riding a motorcycle is a risky endeavor, that’s a fact, no getting around it. If you ride motorcycle, you’re a risk taker, period, that’s who you are. You’re gambling with your well-being when you choose to to ride a motorcycle. You would be much safer driving around in a car than riding a motorcycle. If you don’t understand that you’re taking risk when you ride your motorcycle you should sell your motorcycle.

But those of us who ride motorcycles are willing to take the risk. We’re willing to trade a risk for an experience. The actual experience could be different from person to person, or the same, I don’t know. I just know what I get from riding a motorcycle. This experience is powerful enough to make me take the same risks over and over again.

Motorcycle manufactures have spent millions of dollars trying to nail down the experience of riding a motorcycle to market their products. Trying to focus on your hot buttons to get you to take risks and purchase their products. One manufacturer has been very succesful creating a culture to get you to buy their products, all of their products. But, their vehicles are just as risky as the others.

So with that said, take the time to manage your risks when riding your motorcycle. Don’t leave anything that you can control to chance. Do everything, and I mean everything, you can to put the odds in your favor. Insurance companies are always managing their risks to make sure they’re positioned correctly in the event there’s problem. Why shouldn’t you be doing the same?

How do you reduce your risk when you ride a motorcycle? Safety equipment, going through a motorcycle riding course, maintaining your motorcycle and thinking ahead comes to mind. One of the unseen expenses of owning a motorcycle is all of the safety equipment. From now on in motorcycle ads they should have the motorcycle and pile of safety equipment right next to it. Maybe spread the safety equipment all over the floor like the motorcycle had its own bedroom.

Take a motorcycle riding course. Sometimes they’re free! State grant monies are sometimes used to promote motorcycle rider safety. In some cases if you complete the course, insurance companies will give you a discount on your premium. Read a couple of books on riding and maintaining your motorcycle, it couldn’t hurt. Watch videos on YouTube, they’re free.

Maintaining your motorcycle is very important to your safety. Change the tries when they’re showing signs of wear. Don’t be the first person to try to put a 100,000 miles on a set. Make sure there’s brake fluid in reservoir. Imagine your surprise when pull the brake lever and nothing happens. Surprise, surprise, surprise! Check the brake lights to make sure they work when you operate the brakes.

Thinking ahead is your best tool to put the odds in your favor. It’s like having five aces, I meant four aces. When riding your motorcycle, continually scan your riding landscape. Run the different scenarios in your mind that could happen in front, along side or behind you. Never assume some sees you, even if you think they’re looking right at you. Stay out of the blind spots of an automobile drivers. You need to understand the mindset of someone doesn’t drive a motorcycle. They’re looking for other cars when they’re driving, not motorcycles. So even though they see you, your not registering to them as a car and their not looking for motorcycles. Again, you need to think ahead.

The most important factor for your well-being when riding a motorcycle is to continue to read my blogs. These blogs will enlighten, entertain and educate you. That’s right, shameless promotion. Be thankful it’s at the end.

Electronic Transmissions On Motorcycles… Why?

I don’t know if I want to live in this country anymore. I wonder if Canada would take me? Hopefully, the Canadians aren’t still be pissed off aboot the South Park movie. Although, I don’t officially approve of movies that criticize other countries, I did see the movie twice at the show and own a DVD copy. If I were to destroy a copy of the movie at the border, they might let me in.

We are a bunch of lazy Americans. I don’t really know if lazy is the right word that defines us. Calling us lazy is like saying that the universe is big. We now have three motorcycles in this country with electronic transmissions. That’s right an “ Electronic Transmission. ” I guess an automatic transmission isn’t good enough, it needs to be an electronic transmission. This has to be a sign that the end of the world will happen in 2012. This was mentioned on the back of Mayan calendar, in the lower corner.

That’s right your friends at Honda, not mine, have created another motorcycle with an electronic transmission in their line up. The VFR1200F is brand new and the DN-01 is an older model. Yamaha started the ball rolling about three years ago with the FJR1300AE. Could someone please explain to me why we need motorcycles with electronic transmissions? Why? Why? The only reason I can think of is we’re really really lazy.

What are we going to do with our right foot? No clutch lever to pull in either, instead you have paddles. Paddles! Really, paddles with plus and minus on symbols them. Just like the paddles in some cars. Operating the clutch and going through the gears is the essence of the experience of riding motorcycles which creates that all important inner peace. I think the lyrics from the song “In the Year 2525” were more about motorcycle design then anything else. If you’re under 35, you’ll need to go to Wikipedia for an explanation of the last sentence.

I knew we were in trouble when the manufacturers removed the kick-starters from motorcycles. After that, I knew, without doubt, dark days were head of us. That’s right, “us” the motorcycling community. Oh, I so see power steering coming next, you can bet your last dollar on that one. Here’s list of other future standard equipment coming to motorcycles: power kickstand, power mirrors, power foot pegs, power handlebars and a power seat. Who knows, maybe voice command motorcycles will appear down the road. Oh, I can hear it now. “Turn left, gear change, speed up.”

The first time I saw Honda’s VFR1200F was at the Oshkosh air show a few weeks ago. That’s right, the air show! I think Honda would promote their products at the supermarkets if the could them through the doors. I’m surprised they don’t have pictures of their vehicles on the inside of McDonald’s Happy Meal boxes. Oh, here’s an even better idea, Google Ad-pictures.

Looking at the motorcycle I noticed the clutch lever was missing. Shoddy workmanship? Doubtful. That instant, I felt as though I fell through a rip in space-time fabric and landed in some bizarro world. In this world, electrons have a positive charge and motorcycles have electronic transmissions. Then I realized I couldn’t be in bizarro world because my friend Len was standing near me. Len and bizarro world wouldn’t mix. A really really really big explosion would happen.

If you would like to shift your motorcycles with paddles that have pluses and minuses on them, then go back to your TV and continue to watch CSI Mars. Otherwise, we need to fight this trend with every breath we have. This an epic battle that we, the motorcycling community, will need to fight. We need to fight the man-ufacturers.

Wear a helmet.